Divorces can be traumatic but necessary. If you and your partner are at a point where you can no longer stay in your relationship and have decided to separate, it’s a good idea to have a plan that will make this challenging time a little easier.
For couples who share children, property, or pets, it’s especially important that you take the time to be strategic with upcoming decisions. Even though you’re likely hurting through this transition, reaching out for help from professionals could help ease your pain in the future. For a few things to consider before getting a divorce, read on.
Hire a good divorce attorney.
If you and your partner have separated, and you’re sure there’s no chance of a resolution, it’s a good idea to get a divorce attorney as soon as possible. The reality is that the person who files first in a divorce case generally has an advantage when it comes to the dissolution of the marriage, property division, and child custody disagreements. Even if talks of divorce are fresh, it’s a good idea to start looking for a divorce lawyer now.
It’s easy enough to find a divorce attorney who can represent you in a divorce proceeding. Start with a Google search for the best divorce lawyers in your area, like “best divorce lawyers in Orange County.” A good divorce attorney will offer you a free consultation and can go over your best interest legal options free of charge. If you decide you don’t wish to go forward with your divorce process, you can always stop your case well before ever seeing the inside of a family court but waiting too long could be something you regret long term.
Communicate with your partner.
Even if you and your partner already have a legal separation and have no chance at reunification, many couples with children find it helpful to seek the help of a licensed therapist while going through a divorce. Many people don’t realize that a licensed therapist can help with child custody cases and helping to keep relationship issues from harming children. This could work for a couple with a shared business, too. If you and your partner will be tied to each other for the long haul, it’s a good idea to seek the help of a therapist to work towards a new type of relationship together where you can be amicable with one another.
When looking for a therapist, do what you can to be specific about your needs. For example, a gay couple might want an LGBT-friendly therapist who specializes in gay couple therapy, where parents might want to work with a family therapist. The clearer you can be about your specific goals early on, the more time you will save with your therapist in sessions.
Develop healthy boundaries.
Establishing healthy boundaries every step of the way is imperative to the easiest divorce possible. No matter how you slice it, divorce is hard. However, it can be easier if you and your partner work to communicate your wants and needs when it comes to boundaries. Do what you can, and maybe with the help of that therapist, to define what is and isn’t okay in your relationship going forward. For couples who won’t remain connected, this will be easier than for those working at co-parenting or other shared obligations.
In the end, while no divorce is ever easy, you’ll be glad you took the time to plan out your divorce. Instead of plunging right in while emotions are heated, it’s a good idea to take a step back and a deep breath where you can. In hiring the right professionals to help you along, you, your family, children, and your ex-partner will come out better for it.